It was final time tonight for the only reality competition we know where they Andcrown you in victory, rather than the most awaited Opposite: Fox’s The Masked Singer. After 14 weeks of competition—Also, roughly, the gestation period for the noble and swift cheetah, in case you were curious– the ninth season of the show has come to an end, naming a winner and revealing the identities of everyone involved in this sinister little charade.
Last week’s semi-final reduced the field to just two, after it was – shockingly – revealed that the a cappella-the group of five “California Roll” singing and harmonizing strongly was in fact Pentatonix all the way. Tonight’s finale, then, saw the macaw take on the jellyfish, the gorgon triumphant over the endangered bird at the end with a breath rendition of “Welcome To The Black Parade” from My Chemical Romance“, and with The Macaw forced to reveal himself as singer David Archuleta.
And while we personallyI think it would be much more interesting if the prize to win The Masked Singer never, ever had to reveal that you were on The Masked Singer, the producers continue to refuse our calls. AAnd so it was time to also reveal Medusa: singer Bishop Briggs, who will now add to her various accolades the fact that she screwed up 97-year-old Dick Van Dyke in a singing contest of celebrities.
(Also, we don’t necessarily want to stress this point, but isn’t it kind of disappointing when someone does really well on this show and then, woo, they turn out to be a professional singer? If we were George Wendt, pull out Huey Lewis songs in a giant moose costumewe might ask for some handicap in this regard.)
Oh look! Kanye West has more stupid things to say
Nonetheless: Briggs is the winner, and was gracious in the win, expressing his love for Archuleta and the competition as a whole. And Ken Jeong was also there, because that’s how this show works.